The Last Stand of the New York Institute - Jocelyn's Point of View
by CatherineA
Summary: The second half of The Last Stand of the New York Institute, but as told from Jocelyn's viewpoint.


Welp, I did it: I wrote a fanfiction (aka something I never thought I'd do)! This was originally posted on my tumblr, and it's the second part of _The Last Stand of the New York Institute_, in Jocelyn's point of view. **Disclaimer:** Anything you recognize, including characters and dialogue, is Cassandra Clare's, not mine! **I'd love any feedback you have, to improve my future writing!**

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Jocelyn hurried down the streets of New York, a baby bundled in her arms. She had one goal in mind, one request, that she had to see fulfilled. Glancing at numbers and names, she hurried up the steps to the correct apartment. She took a breath, and rang the doorbell.

No one answered.

Jocelyn just had her hand raised to knock, when the door swung open. It was all Jocelyn could do to keep her jaw from dropping.

"Who are you?" The question startled Jocelyn. She swallowed and replied with the truth – always a good place to start.

"I am – I was Jocelyn Morgenstern." Jocelyn was later able to be surprised she'd answered at all, as stunned as she was with the warlock, Magnus Bane's, attire: drawstring pajama pants patterned with polar bears and a black silk bed jacket.

"I don't remember ordering the bride of an evil maniac. It was definitely beef and broccoli. What about you, Tessa? Did_ you_ order the bride of an evil maniac?" Jocelyn involuntarily took a step back as Magnus swung open the door a bit wider, revealing a girl that looked about twenty. She had long, wavy brown hair and eyes of a blue-grey. Her feet were propped up on the coffee table, and her expression changed to one of surprise when she saw Jocelyn. Jocelyn tightened her hold on her baby, Clary.

"I have come here, Magnus Bane," she said boldly, "to beg your aid."

"Let me think. No."

_You have to help me._

Jocelyn was about to reply when a soft voice was heard from inside the apartment. "Let her in, Magnus."

Magnus wheeled around to look at the young woman – Tessa. "Seriously?"

Tessa made eye contact with Jocelyn from across the threshold. "I want to speak with her."

Jocelyn barely noticed a delivery man at the door as she and Clary were rushed inside, the door snapping shut behind them. Clary began to squirm as Jocelyn stood awkwardly by the door.

"You have a baby," Magnus pointed out coolly. Jocelyn gripped Clary closer to her. Tessa pulled herself up from the couch and padded over towards Magnus and Jocelyn. She wore black leggings and a large t-shirt with the words _William Wants A Doll_ scrawled on the front.

"Jocelyn Fairchild. Descended from Henry Branwell and Charlotte Fairchild."

Jocelyn didn't know what to say in response to that. However, it never did pass her mind to be even slightly creeped out by the fact that Tessa knew her genealogy. She settled for a safe answer,

"That's right."

"I knew them, you see. You have a great look of Henry," Tessa explained.

Jocelyn blinked. How could this be possible? "_Knew_ them?" she asked. "Then you must be…" _A warlock_. Jocelyn just didn't know how to say it without it sounding like an insult. But she needed to know about these people, didn't she? After all, she'd told them who she was and she needed to assure herself that she and Clary would be safe.

"Are you a warlock too, then?" Jocelyn asked. She scanned Tessa for a sign of a warlock's mark, but found none. How is this possible? Suddenly, Jocelyn became aware of Tessa's cold gaze and took a step back.

"I am," said Tessa. "I am Theresa Gray, daughter of a Greater Demon and Elizabeth Gray, who was born Elizabeth Starkweather, one of your kind. I was the wife of William Herondale, who was the head of the London Institute, and I was the mother of James Herondale and Lucie Blackthorn. Will and I raised our Shadowhunter children to protect mundanes, to live by the laws of Clave and Covenant, and to keep the Accords," Tessa said. Her voice then softened, as if she sensed Jocelyn's distress. "Once, I lived among the Shadowhunters. Once I might have almost seemed like a person to you."

Jocelyn found herself stunned. How could she even reply to that? And it wasn't true. She didn't think less of Tessa. She didn't think like that anymore. She had promised herself that she wouldn't.

"I understand if you find my crimes against Downworlders unforgivable," Jocelyn began, her voice shaking. She needed them to help Clary. "But I – I have nowhere else to go. And I need help. My daughter needs your help. She is a Shadowhunter and Valentine's daughter. She cannot live among her own kind. We can never go back. I need a spell to shield her eyes from all but the mundane world. She can grow up safe and happy in the mundane world."

Jocelyn took a deep breath to steady herself, then continued. "She never needs to know what her father was. Or what her mother did."

_There_, Jocelyn thought. _I've said it. It's the truth, and it's all I have to convince them with. _

Magnus rolled his eyes. "So you come begging to us. The monsters."

_No._

"I have no quarrel with Downworlders. I…" Jocelyn hesitated. How could she bring Luke into this? After all he'd done for her, given up for her, and then she'd just left him. "…my best friend is a Downworlder," she said at last, "and I do not believe he is so changed from the person I always loved. I was wrong. I'll have to live forever with what I did. But please, my daughter did nothing."

Jocelyn closed her eyes briefly, and shifted Clary in her arms. _They have to help me. Please._

Jocelyn turned to Tessa, an idea surfacing. "You said you were married to a Herondale. Stephen Herondale was my friend-"

"Stephen Herondale would have killed me if he'd ever met me," scoffed Tessa. Jocelyn deflated. "I would not have been safe living among people like you, or like him. I am the wife and mother of warriors who fought and died and never dishonored themselves as you have. I have worn gear, wielded blades, and slain demons, and all I wished was to overcome evil so that I could live and be happy with those I loved. I'd hoped I'd made this a better, safer world for my children. Because of Valentine's Circle, the Herondale line, the line that was my son's children's children, is finished. That happened through you and your Circle and your husband. Stephen Herondale died with hate in his heart and the blood of my people on his hands. I can imagine no more horrible way for mine and Will's line to end. I will have to carry for the rest of my life the wound of what Valentine's Circle has done to me, and I will live forever."

Jocelyn took a step back. She knew it was over. How could she have ever imagined that they would agree to help her, after what she'd done. She felt Tessa's eyes on her, and then heard Tessa begin to speak more softly.

"But Stephen Herondale made his own choices, and you have made other choices besides the one to hate. I know that Valentine could not have been defeated without you help. And your child has done no wrong to anybody."

Jocelyn looked up again, hardly daring to hope.

Magnus cut in, "That does not mean she has a right to our help," he said, though his heart did not sound in it. "Besides which, I am not a Shadowhunter charity, and I doubt she has the money to pay for my help. Fugitives are so seldom well funded."

Jocelyn stepped foreword, feeling a sense of fresh determination. "I'll find the money. I am not a charity case, and I am not a Shadowhunter any longer. I want to be someone else. I want to raise my daughter to be someone else, not bound to the Clave or led astray by anybody. I want her to be braver than I was, stronger than I was, and to let nobody decide her fate but herself."

Jocelyn glanced down at Clary, and was surprised when Tessa spoke.

"Nobody could ask for more than that for their child. May I hold her?"

Jocelyn hesitated. She glanced from Tessa to Clary, and could find nothing wrong with the idea. She would be right there the whole time. Slowly, Jocelyn leaned forward, carefully placing Clary into Tessa's arms.

"She's beautiful," Tessa murmured. Jocelyn noticed the confident, natural way in which Tessa held Clary, with that authoritative air of a parent. _Well, she was one_, Jocelyn remembered. "What's her name?"

"Clarissa," Jocelyn said immediately, and then spoke softer as she looked at Clary in Tessa's arms, "I call her Clary."

Jocelyn watched as Tessa fixed Clary's blankets, and Clary grabbed on to her finger, waving it back and forth. Jocelyn smiled softly. Clary was usually uncomfortable around strangers, Jocelyn had never seen her so eager around one.

Tessa smiled down at Clary. "Hello, Clary," she whispered. Even Magnus came over, his sparkly rings dazzling Clary. Jocelyn hurriedly stepped closer as Clary began to squirm. Jocelyn knew that sign; Clary wanted down. Jocelyn appreciated the fact that Tessa handed Clary back to Jocelyn instead of just putting Clary down herself.

Clary pouted in Jocelyn's arms. Jocelyn glanced around the apartment, and seeing nothing immediately harmful to the baby, set her down. The three adults watched as Clary toddled around, picking up things in turn and then setting them back down again. Jocelyn watched anxiously for any sign of trouble.

"Curious little thing, isn't she?" Magnus asked. Jocelyn glanced at him distractedly, not wanting to take her eyes from Clary for too long in this warlock's home. Magnus smiled at Jocelyn's worried expression. "Not a bad quality. She could grow up to be an adventurer."

Jocelyn pursed her lips. "I want her to grow up to be safe and happy. I don't want her to have adventures. Adventures happen when life is cruel. I want her to have a mundane life, quiet and sweet, and I hoped she would be born not able to see the Shadow World. But I've never had much luck with hope," Jocelyn sighed. "I saw her trying to play with a faerie in a hedge this afternoon. I need you to help me. I need you to help her," she said, remembering why she was there.

Magnus raised his eyebrows. "Can I tear away an essential part of your child's nature, and twist her into a shape that would suit you better? If you want her mad by the end of it."

Jocelyn felt herself pale. She reminded herself that she'd faced worse than this, much worse, and that she would find a solution. "Is there anything else you can do?"

Magnus hesitated. "There is… something else I could try."

Jocelyn silently watched Magnus watch Clary. She was smart enough not to interrupt him while he contemplated the issue.

Magnus' eyes widened, and Jocelyn turned towards Clary just in time to see her reach for a cat, and firmly yank on its tail – much to the cat's displeasure, and, accordingly, Clary's.

Jocelyn found herself on her knees beside Clary almost as soon as the child began to wail. Jocelyn pulled Clary into a hug, then released her to examine the scratches on her face.

"Is she part banshee?" Magnus inquired sarcastically. Jocelyn glared at what little of him she could see through her hair that fell like a curtain around her and Clary. It was, after all, Magnus' cat that had scratched Clary. "Oh, pardon me for implying that the bloodlines of Valentine's child are anything less than pure."

Jocelyn heard Tessa speak softly, and then felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. Jocelyn didn't shake her off – she'd never felt in more need of a friend than she did right then.

"If you want the child safe," said Magnus, "she doesn't need only a spell to hide her own sight. She needs to be protected from the supernatural as well, from any demons who might come crawling to her."

Jocelyn looked up, brushing her hair from her eyes. "And what Iron Sister and Silent Brother will do that ceremony for me without turning Clary and me over to the Clave? No. I can't risk it. If she knows nothing of the Shadow World, she will be safe," Jocelyn said, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt.

"My mother was a Shadowhunter who knew nothing of the Shadow World," Tessa said quietly. "That didn't keep her safe."

Jocelyn couldn't help but stare at Tessa. She didn't need further explanation than that. And yet, what could Jocelyn do? She wanted to scream in frustration, yet that would get her nowhere.

Clary suddenly lifted her arms to Tessa, who glanced at Jocelyn for permission. Jocelyn nodded, and watched as Tessa picked up Clary again. Clary wiped her tears on Tessa's shirt, and Tessa smiled down on her.

Jocelyn took a deep breath, closed her eyes briefly, and then allowed herself to smile. "Clary never goes to strangers. Maybe – maybe she can tell that you're not a stranger to the Fairchilds."

Jocelyn didn't shift as Tessa gazed at her. "Maybe," Tessa said, then paused. "I will help you with the ceremony. I know a Silent Brother who will keep any secret if I ask him to."

Jocelyn didn't think to wonder about this mysterious Silent Brother until much later. She could only bow her head and thank Tessa.

"Well, then," said Magnus. "It seems we are going to help you, Jocelyn Morgenstern."

Jocelyn flinched, even though she was relieved. "Don't call me that. I'm – I'm Jocelyn Fairchild."

"I thought you weren't a Shadowhunter anymore," Magnus said. "If you don't want them to find you, changing your name seems like a fairly elementary first step. Trust me, I'm an expert. I've watched a lot of spy movies."

Jocelyn glanced at Magnus skeptically, causing him to roll his eyes.

"I was also not born with the name Magnus Bane," he pointed out. "I came up with that one all on my own."

"I was actually born Theresa Gray," Tessa cut in. "But you should choose whatever name seems right to you. I've always said there is a great deal of power in words, and that means names, too. A name you choose for yourself could tell you the story of what your destiny will be, and who you intend to become."

Jocelyn suddenly knew that there was really only one option that made sense to her. "Call me Fray. Let me join together the names of the Fairchilds, my lost family, and the Grays. Because you are… a family friend," Jocelyn finished somewhat lamely, in her opinion. But she was sure.

Jocelyn saw Tessa smile, and glanced down at her daughter. Jocelyn wondered what Valentine would say if he could see her now. First begging for the aid of Downworlders, and then creating her new name out of respect for one. As Jocelyn reached out to stroke her baby's smiling face, she realized that for the first time…she didn't really care what he would think – what anybody would think.

"Jocelyn and Clary Fray," said Magnus. "It's nice to meet you."


End file.
